I've been wondering about this too... when my sister went through this, she said dealing with outside lenders was a mixed bag. Some were pretty straightforward and eager to compete, but others made her jump through hoops. Did you find certain types of lenders easier to negotiate with? Curious if it's more about the lender's size, reputation, or maybe just luck of the draw...
I noticed the same thing when we refinanced last year. Some smaller, local lenders were surprisingly easygoing and responsive, probably because they're trying to build their reputation through word-of-mouth. On the other hand, a couple of big-name banks made us feel like just another number—lots of paperwork and delays. I'd say it's less about luck and more about finding someone who values your business and communicates clearly... at least that's been my experience.
Had a similar experience myself. When we built our place, I initially thought the builder's lender would be easiest, but decided to shop around just out of curiosity. Ended up finding a local credit union that was way more responsive and transparent. Big banks felt impersonal—like you said, just another number. Definitely worth taking the extra time to find someone who actually listens and communicates clearly... makes the whole process less stressful.
Did you notice much difference in closing costs with the local credit union? I've heard mixed things—some say builder lenders cut you a deal there, others say it's all marketing fluff... Curious what your experience was.
In my experience, builder lenders often dangle incentives upfront, but when you crunch the actual numbers, local credit unions can be surprisingly competitive. Worth checking both—sometimes the "deal" isn't as sweet as it seems...