For anything load-bearing, I stick with new wood too... not worth the risk otherwise.
I get where you’re coming from, but I’ve had some luck using reclaimed wood for structural stuff—just takes a bit more prep. If you’ve got access to old beams or joists, sometimes that lumber is actually denser and stronger than what you get at the big box stores now. I usually start by planing it down and checking for rot or hidden nails (learned that lesson the hard way). Then I’ll cut a test piece and see how it holds up under pressure. If it passes, I’ll use it for things like table legs or even shelving brackets.
It’s definitely more work, and yeah, sometimes you end up tossing a board that looked fine at first. But when it works, you get that extra bit of character and history in the finished piece. Not saying it’s always the best route, but I wouldn’t rule out old wood for load-bearing if you can really vet it. Just my two cents.
Honestly, I get the appeal of reclaimed wood—there’s a certain charm you just can’t fake. But for anything that’s actually holding weight in my place, I’m not taking chances. Old beams might be denser, sure, but you never really know what they’ve been through over the decades. I’d rather pay a bit more for new, graded lumber and sleep easy. That said, I’ll use reclaimed stuff for accent walls or furniture all day long... just not where safety’s on the line.