Totally get where you’re coming from. I’m knee-deep in my first custom build and honestly, I’d rather have a designer who challenges me than one who just says “sure” to everything. Here’s what I’ve noticed:
- If they can’t explain *why* something won’t work, that’s a red flag.
- I ask a ton of questions too—sometimes it feels awkward, but it’s my house, right?
- The best convos I’ve had are the ones where we debate a bit. It’s not always comfortable, but it’s way better than ending up with a space that feels off.
You’re spot on about the early awkwardness being worth it. I’d rather have a few tough chats now than live with regret every time I walk into the room.
I’m right there with you on the value of a little friction early on. I actually found myself second-guessing whether I was being “difficult” because I kept digging into details—like, why does this material work here but not there? Or, what’s the actual maintenance like for that finish? Sometimes I get the sense designers aren’t used to clients who want to get technical, but I need to understand the logic behind choices. If they can’t walk me through it, I start wondering if they’re just winging it.
One thing I’d add: I always ask to see examples of past projects, but then I’ll ask *why* they made certain decisions in those spaces. The answers tell me a lot about their process. Not everyone loves getting grilled, but it’s my house and my money, so I figure it’s fair game.
I get where you’re coming from, but sometimes I think too much friction early on can actually stall a project.
True, but if you push too hard, some designers just shut down or get defensive. I usually start with broad questions—like how they’d approach a space with heavy use or tricky lighting—before drilling into the nitty-gritty. That way, I can gauge if they’re flexible thinkers without making them feel like they’re on trial.Not everyone loves getting grilled, but it’s my house and my money, so I figure it’s fair game.
I’ve run into this exact thing—trying to get answers and accidentally making the designer clam up. One time, I asked about their experience with eco-friendly materials, and the vibe got weird fast. Now, I ease in: I’ll mention my priorities (like low-VOC paints or recycled flooring) and see if they’re familiar or just paying lip service. If they can’t have a real conversation about sustainability, that’s usually a red flag for me. It’s less grilling, more like seeing if we’re on the same page before things get serious.
WHAT SHOULD I LOOK FOR BEFORE SIGNING WITH AN INTERIOR DESIGNER?
That’s a good point about the “lip service” thing—seen it too many times. I always wonder, if someone gets defensive or vague when you ask about materials or process, what else are they going to gloss over? I’d actually push a bit on specifics: Can they name brands or projects where they used those eco-friendly products? Do they know the certifications? If they can’t answer without dodging, that’s a red flag for me. It’s not about grilling, but if they’re legit, they should be able to talk shop without getting weird.
